The Death of Haiku
by #TheOtherRoom Authors:
( ) - Sean Latta (Ghost-in-the-Corner)
*  - Dan Lucas (danjklucas)
#  - aoife-lushon
+  - Shaun Peterson (cool4dude)
~  - Andrew Kieras (Wracky)
=  - a. hudym (navix)
[] - Zachary W. Roberts (Spiff-Johnson)


Fall Evangelism *
Mormons walk the streets.
prowling and rambling along
like vicious lost leaves

weeping willow ~
drooping heavily
the crying weeping willow
foster mother blues

So Long, Snow Cones +
June falls on its face
while July laughs and points at her.
Summer is ending.

[Tea Cakes]
Tea cakes taste so sweet
I'll eat them in morning sun
thinking thoughts of you

Too much fun *
Vomiting while drunk
is like Indian Summer—
Fall has too much fun.

Less is More? +
Winter is homeless.
Cardboard boxes are useless.
The cold is endless

Winter #
Crystalled hearts in bloom,
Silver frosted petals hide,
Death is the last hope

(Umbrella time)
A lot of raining
Maybe it will drown my fish
the one that meows

pond ~
murky scum floats on
lilypad crackers thicken
red tomato soup

Women *
I like my women
to be human: with beauty
like a bare brown tree.

two hundred and seventy five kilometres =
you’re warmth to my cold,
the ringo to my john, yet
we miss the same things.

Good Morning *
I wake up to toes
peeking up from the blankets—
pink like spring flowers.

The Greatest +
Breezy- like sea air,
but saltless and full of pride:
Lake Superior.

[I’m Cheap]
Who here needs a coat?
Turn the thermostat down dope
the gas bill is high

Warm *
Bright Red and dark brown,
like a forest on fire.
Very nice sweater.

caterpillars ~
rise caterpillars
climb ivy-strewn fences with passion
hasten patient sky

The Lonely Land Is A Frigid Bitch =
stagger and fall and stagger
and fall and stagger and fall and
This is winter, folks.

10:41PM =
The moon is full,
the snow spreads, then falls away;
the edge of the world.

Puddles. *
Puddles. Cats and dogs.
My feet are soaked with spring rain—
Wrinkled, happy old men.

Angel Dust #
Snow swept swiftly away -
groping the old frail dirt tracks,
skipping the young trees.

coupons ~
coupon tapestry
harbinger of low prices
shred for winter fuel

[Samantha]
Slowly I touched you
we shared a carnal moment
slowly I exhaled

Child’s Winter *
Don’t walk on thin ice.
Don’t forget your hat and gloves.
Don’t eat yellow snow.

stalactites ~
stalactite cavern
dripping sedimentary rock
drowning frustration

Awkward!! +
Snowflakes in July
make me feel a little strange
like anilingus...

bark *
My dog’s breath is foul
like crushed skunk on I-80
in steaming summer.

Internal hope #
Don't let it escape yet,
It might not try to breathe alone,
Fatal foetal mistake.

(Druggy)
big fucking mushrooms
just dance every fucking day
goddamn thats trippy

A Question of Misinterpreted Enthusiasm =
I wonder if you
would really understand why
my eyes are so wide.

[Good thing I wasn’t atlas]
If I was atlas,
It was so good I wasn't
I would have dropped Earth

Cats and Dogs +
Rain crushing daisies-
a tragic necessity,
is it ironic?

clown ~
clowny clown clown
midnight summer carnival
crispin shouldn't smoke

Blossoming *
I blossom rosy
when I think of your smile
and your weight on mine.

[Two years later]
I never said it
she never knew how I felt
that was a mistake

because social thought is for keeners =
We’re not so diff’rent.
Yeah, you’re a man and I’m not,
but we sway the same.

Riot #
Thundering the streets
Hooligans in arms once more
Political mess.

(Feed me)
barbequeing steak
maybe some mashed potatoes
and a nice cold beer

Accident *
It smells like burnt meat.
The oven’s hot as summer.
Good god! Where’s the dog?

14th Inning Stretch +
Where is the baseball?
In the fog it's hard to tell
Guess it's a home run

tennis ~
crosscourt shot waning
spinning lime dropping oblong
kisses the crosshair

[Copper Socialite]
Are you upset that
pennies possibly have been
more places than you?

Kentucky Spring *
Slimy and greasy
like the forest floor in spring—
I love KFC!

Strike #
Protest boards set up,
Voices charged to scream loudly.
Parliament Square screams.

crappy coffee ~
shade-grown coffee
fair trade economy size
triple distilled

The Ballad of Melanie and Avianna =
My life’s a series
Of lyrics and doodles and
A few love-letters

[Don’t Tell]
I am a secret
So who told you I was here?
That makes me angry

(Are you really related to god?)
That silly satan
He's not as tough as he seems
He's a true softy

Mama *
Mama always knew
When to make gestures of love.
Glacial pudding cups.

.txt +
New Text Document:
a poetic nursing home.
Verse waiting to die.

the things I do to stop falling asleep in your classes =
I count the tiles while
you orate man’s hist’ry, then
I count your grey hairs.

[Not Me]
Apathy in place
of empathy. Who died?
I don't care, not me

Lucas #
I'd travel the tube
To anywhere if you came,
Enchanted nowheres

(Im smrt)
Paint thinner smells weird
Oh god I'm feeling woozy
Alert next of kin

dammit, janet =
Where have you gone, dear?
My arms feel weak when you leave,
And my heart is still.

Long-Distance *
People far away
Become like granite statues—
God-like in stature.

Swallow #
The train station looms,
Swallowing my new found friend
Before I have tried.

[I’m Blind]
Young girl hates her eyes
brown was never in she says
tried to scratch them out

Kraft Singles +
American cheese.
Epitome of low class,
but still quite tastey.

Kids #
Being a child needs
more energy than you did
So many games left.

air museum ~
altimeter spins
bombs rip dirt shredding bodies
ornate chandalier

your vinland is a joke =
The Vikings landed,
and found redskins in canoes.
They killed all but one.

Religious Bling +
Crucifix necklace-
a wonderful way to say
Yay, Jesus is dead!

Edging Closer #
Near the edge of town
Destruction reassembling
Destroyed by good will

TV ~
face me you devil
flickering softly in dreams
the sunrise is mine

Where's the Laugh Track? +
cartoons on TV
can sometimes seem more real than
reality is

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE =
Dear decepticons:
Can I be as cool as you?
Love, a really big fan.

[I Should Get tiVo]
Glare on my T.V.
keeps me from watching my shows
I should get tiVo

(Originalityplz)
Anime shows plot
girl meets guy, girl gets undressed
fighting soon ensues

fear factor ~
stay underwater
joe rogan is so hardcore
you must impress him

[Tv Land]
The A-Team is on
B.A. Baracus is cool
Murdock is O.K.

Pete's Hero +
Red and blue stripes clothe
the strongest man in the world!
All bow for Artie!

[I’m Larry]
Cable guy Larry
has a movie, oh god please
make sure that it bombs

Consumerism #
Streets of dying fame,
Old loved culture replaced by
consumerism

iPatch and iParrot +
mp3 players
make piracy musical
but a lot less yarrrrr!

hamburger helper ~
cows cut green grass green
teeth and cud chewing harshly
hamburger helper

Olympia #
Olympia calls,
Asking for a spare fighter.
I hang up the phone.

Bus *
Oh no! Holy crap!
The bus is almost here now!
Gotta go to class

(Lost?)
Where the hell am I?
Oh right I'm in paradise
Pass the doritos

[One who lies no more..?]
Used to lie a lot
then I got older and stopped
or am I lying?

Senseless #
Twirling through dazed tubes,
Consumers taking their due,
Dueling against strikes.

Trench Warfare +
ratatatatat
the machine gun shoots quickly
killing everyone

[Anal Rape]
He was thirteen
stabbed his grandmother, she died
tried as an adult

knight ~
sweat oxidizes
old steel on the rusty knight
grips a human head

[Michael Jordan Laughs]
Expensive shoes, aimed
directly at the poor ones
Michael Jordan laughs

(Lazy much?)
Bring Bring goes the bell
I look for the snooze button
Now I'm late for school

Work #
Procrastination,
The key to avoiding work -
Doing something else

Rex, T-Rex. +
Tyrannosarus:
a huge beast that eats raw flesh-
Carnivorousness!

(I lost that fight)
My nose got broken
Now its all bloody and stuff
Get me an ice pack

Louise *
Pretty British girl
coming to America--
better clean my room.

[Irrational Love]
Some people love dogs
more than they love people, see
that's silly to me

Teenage Angst is Better When You're 21 +
No one will love me
Well maybe my mother will...
No, not even her.

(Not so emo)
love's overrated
its really just buying stuff
for a needy bitch

YOU WANT ENLARGE UR PEN0R?! *
God e-mailed me once
selling penis enlargement.
I bet that shit works.

Drunk #
Every pee drop
Falls on an empty forehead -
missing the bottle.

Play it Cool +
God waved at me
but I just looked forward
and kept walking

[Deviant]
Moral defective
I strayed from the collective
Now I am alone

(Hey look I kill things)
I like to stab things
Especially living things
They sometimes say ow

Satanic/Erotic +
satan's butt plug is
a death machine, eternal
anal destruction

[Snakes On A Plane: Samuels Line]
enough is enough
I'm tired of these snakes you see
I shot one or two

(Money)
conglomerates grow
folks run to the stores
big fat rich guys win

condor ~
frivolous condor
paragon in size alone
bequeath me your eggs

Money #
Pyramids of doom,
Just 15 people can make
a fortune in debt.

Calvin Martsch +
Bending halos is
a job best left for rockers
of the indie kind.

[Three cheers for ignorance]
Inappropriate
comments made by ignorant
ones make me quite sad

condor#2 ~
heavy climbing high
old moses scaled the mountain
delicious condor

(Hungry for muffin)
Muffins make me cough
I always inhale the crumbs
chocolate ones are good

because a little laundry detergent never hurt anyone =
The icing forms an
impenetrable barrier
around the trash-cake.

(Evil brown)
chocolate is good
it rots your teeth and your soul
the devils magic

[I wanna get sloppy drunk]
Twenty is before
twenty one and then we all
can drink alcohol

:D #
Twenty-four bottles,
Sitting on a wall, one fell
So we drunk the rest.

(Cleansing call)
Goddamnit the phone
Ringing while I'm showering
I really hate it

hadyn ~
hadyn cut corners
hid harmony under roots
palmed the fifth ace

Writers #
Being a writer
means we write and understand
Philosophers' dreams.

Haiku *
Why force a haiku?
Must once force the buds to bloom?
Let it come, my friend.

(Haikus suck)
Screw this damn haiku
It's dumb and stupid and fat
Oh god im lonely =(

Stolen #
I stole a haiku,
I wonder if he'll notice
His own idea

this is a title. =
Hello, my name is
Number One. I don’t need a
haiku to feel loved.

Meta-Haiku *
One. Two. Three. Four. Five.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Shit…
Out of syllables.

The Best One #
This haiku should win
Because it is the greatest
Haiku ever read!

A Plea For Fourteen Lines =
This is a haiku because I say it is.
It has three lines. They don’t fit, but fuck you.
Go read a sonnet instead.

(Umm...)
Fluff aka fuzz
Theres not much to say right now
this haiku sucked bad

The Death of Haiku *
Stab it with forced words--
thoughts crammed in syllable counts.
Burn it like dead leaves.

Shaun, the Resident Sage of Haikuetry =
It’s been said that when
one writes haikus and one runs
out of ideas: monkeys.

Travel #
Underline the page
Straight lines are usually best
The monkeys like them.

(Monkeys)
chimpanzees kick arse
they chuck their shit at people
people dissapprove

an educational haiku. =
Monkeys are funny.
Monkeys have long, swingy tails.
Monkeys throw feces.

Spatial #
Monkeys in space suits,
hyper-galactic space trains
Delayed by dead leaves.

3/5 ~
three over five
two over one at teatime
stroke of genius

things one ought to know =
nineteen over four,
six divided by nine, ten
eighths, and zero halves.

Commander in Cheif +
George Bush in Iraq
puches Saddam in the face
and humps tyranny!

iraq ~
happy third birthday
NPR will still hate you
(your speech needs more work)

(Bad question)
If a dragon farts
Does it still need to be lit?
I highly doubt it

[Silly Japanese]
Yasumi wants girls
American girls oh well
silly japanese

Ink Jet #
Being a geek means
We understand the need for
multiple printers.

the sounds that modems make =
FUCK YOU INTERNET.
I HATE WHEN YOU CUT ME OFF
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU HARD.

This Haiku is about naming conventions in a world where we now have the
opportunity to choose our own names in such things as literary works and online
chatting services—It’s truly incredible how we can now build our own identity
rather than being confined to the one given us by our parents and
neighbors—though, one could argue that identity has never been immutable. *
Haikus with long names
are rude to those reading them—
like MSN names

(w1l j00 g1v3 m3h 4 hj plz?)
pornography rules
except all those damn paysites
I don't have a card. =(

!!emo /kick =
omg ppl
r rlly dmb & I h8 them
I cut myself lots.

ytmnd *
You’re the man now, dawg!
Yes! Punch the keys for God’s sake!
You’re the man now, dawg!

(Crazy frogs)
the french are crazy
douche is french for a shower
double you tee eff

paul =
Plonk plonk plunk plonk plonk
Plunk plonk ‘wait, I’m left-handed!’
Plunk plunk plunk plunk plunk

[Sweet Deal]
I am disabled
That’s why I have this placard
and this great parking

Ape vs. Mountie +
Wouldn't it be cool
if king kong went to canada?
Die hosers dies!

(I have candy)
Willy Wonka sucks
He is a child molester
Kind of like Jackson

Places *
Pennsylvania; Con-
necticut; New York; Virgin-
ia; London, England.

(Silly rabbits)
Hoppy little shits
Rabbits like to eat their poo
Thats fucking nasty

The Gamma Quadrant +
Spaceships get shotdown like my ideas
but I don't think that
I mind

[Its just a haiku don’t hunt me down and kill me Xargon Dragon don’t you know I love you?]
I died in my house
because I fell down the stairs
xargon wiped my blood

letter to the editor =
Dearest cool4dude:
I WANT TO STOP WRITING THESE
FUCKING HAIKUS, ‘KAY?

Wasting #
The Other Room's first,
Poetry madness alert,
What a waste of time.

Dark Sarcasm *
I cannot count.
Teacher taught me this with a cane.
She did not like my poetry.

they said that she was sleeping, they lied! they lied! =
I started this thing
thinking it wouldn’t take long.
someone lied to me.

Frustration +
Sometimes
it seems like
everything is
going wrong
and maybe
it is

This Song Is Only Six Words Long =
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

(In space...)
vacuums suck big time
thats all I am gonna say
I guess I'm done now

[Nigga Nigga Nigga, sounds like I Chainsaw]
Nigger and nigga
cool4dude says they're the same
I do not agree

1/2 =
On Shaun’s and Dan’s sug-
gestion, I made

Death #
Death grips the haiku
In vices of gold and red
Poets crave the verse.

!!coolpoint +ten billion billion navix =
liek_whoah, omgzorz!
durr, I r the_pokelsleded
sweet monkey tuesdays.

The Decay of Haiku *
Stub it with foreword
that cramps in several cunts.
Burp it like bad cheese.

An Ode To My Failed Essay =
So comes the end of
the death of haiku. I hope
Shaun dies too, and soon.

Rest in Peace (or Don't) +
Haiku was murdered.
Who dun it? Was it me?
YOU BET YOUR ASS IT WAS!